On August 30, I gave birth to a beautiful seven pound, two ounce little girl - making me a mother for the second time. She weighed exactly the same amount as her big sister, had short little chubby legs, and a receding line of dark, straight hair. With a slightly stronger favor to Mr. M's side of the family, she was still a perfect blend of the two of us. She's got her momma's long piano-playing fingers and her daddy's temper when she's hungry. Like her big sister, she's beautiful.
Miss Em.
Having an almost three year old in the house, I've gotten used to a world full of sippy cups, dress up, and toddler rebellion. Now, out of what seems like nowhere, my world has been saturated with bottles, early morning feedings, and teeny tiny poopy diapers -- on top of the sippy cups, dress up, and toddler rebellion. I've forgotten what it's like to have a newborn around. It's amazing how tired one eight-pound human can make you. Although, Miss Em is a good eater and a pretty good sleeper, the kid still wears me out. Between her and Miss G, I can't seem to synchronize a napping schedule, an awake time schedule, a feeding schedule, or any other kind of schedule for that matter -- hence the reason this is the first time I've posted in nearly two months.
I sit here now, in the dark, with just the glow of the TV, my laptop, and my thoughts. It's quiet, other than the hum of the fan and the occasional mumble of the nearly muted television. Miss Em is sleeping peacefully in her bassinet, while I can see Miss G on the baby monitor snuggled and snoozing away in her big girl bed.
Having another little human in our midst has been an adjustment. Trying to balance house hold chores with one child was difficult enough ... but now, it takes double the effort. I'm lucky to get basic things like dishes, trash, laundry, and dinner taken care of on most days. I've also learned that things like brushing your teeth, washing your face, and applying deodorant quickly become luxuries rather than a part of daily personal hygiene. But, you deal with it ... even if your deodorant doesn't go on until 2:00pm and your face doesn't get washed at all that day.
My little ladies.
I was also quickly made aware of the fact that there is no such thing as being in a rush when you have two children. You can try to rush all you want, but chances are it will do you little to no good. Between making sure everyone is fed, fussing over what the two-year-old will wear, packing a diaper bag, and dressing ourselves, it takes me and Mr. M a full two hours to get completely ready to go anywhere. Thankfully, we've been no where that had a set appointment time very often other than church, and miraculously, we've made it there on time every Sunday.
Becoming a mommy this time was different than the first time around for sure. The new mommy fears aren't there like they are with your first child. You recognize what cry means what much sooner. Breast feeding is easier. You can change a diaper in your sleep if need be. And you learn to take multitasking to an entirely different level ... I'm talking a baby in your arms, a toddler at your feet, the phone being held by your shoulder, and dinner being cooked -- all of this done with poise and grace, of course. Ha!
It's been a crazy eight weeks, but we're all settling in to our new life together quite nicely. Sometimes I still can't believe I have one child, let alone two. It feels surreal on some days. Other days it just feels tiring. But without a doubt, every day with my little ladies is a day I wouldn't trade for the world.
Earlier this week I actually took the time to scribble down some blog ideas that came to mind. I organized them by date...up to the 15th of November - yes, I believe that does make me borderline OCD. Possibly not borderline...maybe just a full blown case of OCD. My schedule wasn't etched in stone, but it's a decent compilation of ideas in case my brain decides to be tired one afternoon. I have my helpful list of topics in front of me: October 26 - Cooking Club of America. October 27 - Couponing. If you read yesterday's post, you know that A Borrowed Blog had absolutely nothing to do with the Cooking Club of America, and if you continue to read, you'll find that today's content isn't remotely close to couponing. I'm sure you're gravely disappointed. I'll make it up to you.
Nutmeg and B in Kentucky.
My sister, Nutmeg (it's a nickname, not her real name), lives in Tennessee. Well...before I go any further, let me first back up and school you in how that came about. My sister and I went to college together - we were roommates, believe it or not. We always shared a room growing up, so it just seemed normal to live in the same room once we moved out. We did the dorm life thing for three years until we moved into our first apartment. We were both working full time as preschool teachers, and could afford to live somewhere off campus. So, we found a place within walking distance of school and work, and moved in. It was a two-bedroom, second floor duplex on Winfree Street. It was old, and drafty with no dishwasher, and only a window unit air conditioning -- anyone in Florida knows window units and the summer heat just weren't made for each other. God bless the inventor of fans! Our apartment had the original hard wood floors, arched door ways, and the windows were white, wooden paned. Living there, was the first time in our entire lives that we had separate bedrooms. Adjustment. But it was a good adjustment.
She [my sister] started dating this guy - B. He was in a band. I didn't like him. There was something that just rubbed me the wrong way. Come to find out, me and him have much of the same personality traits, which is probably why we bumped heads. Things are copacetic now, but it was a long time coming. He's a great guy, and he's good to my sister. So, I can't ask for much more than that. Back to what I was saying...they dated for awhile, but eventually broke up when he decided to move back home to Tennessee. In the months following, a lot of changes happened. I got married, our positions at the preschool both came to an end, and our cozy Winfree apartment was soon traded in for a much nicer place that could accommodate the two of us plus my new groom. It wasn't but two months after M and I got married, that Nutmeg was offered a full time nanny position with a family we had taught in the preschool. The only catch? It was in Kentucky. She soon moved, and life was way different - for me and her. If you know anything about geography, you'll know that Kentucky and Tennessee are neighboring states...the ex-boyfriend had now morphed into best friend, and Nutmeg was quickly adopted into the family. This proved to be an even bigger blessing, when the nanny position ended, and she was offered a corporate position in TN just a few months later.
Muff Muff the cat.
B's family was her family - a home away from home. He lived at home with his parents, two brothers, Muff-Muff the cat, and Patches - a smelly little dog that no one seemed to like. Strangely, when I visited, I really bonded with the smelly dog...not sure what that's saying about me. Poor Patches. Back to the story...B and Nutmeg eventually went from best friends back to an item. She got along really well with B's entire family, but she had a unique connection with B's mom...almost like kindred spirits if you will.
Over the past two years, I've heard story after story about the mother-daughter relationship they have formed...they have coffee together, go to movies, go shopping, cook together, talk - everything a mother-daughter would do. I don't think I've ever told Nutmeg, but I've always counted it as a blessing for her to have a bond like that with B's mom. Before she moved, me and Nutmeg were always together, and not having that in-person, day-to-day, sisterly connection has been hard at times. But, I've found comfort for her knowing that she's got someone there.
In May 2010, things changed. B's mom was diagnosed with a rare brain tumor. They did her first surgery a month after being diagnosed - most of her symptoms slowly subsided, and life got back to normal. Then there were seizures, and another surgery followed in December of last year. She wasn't back to 100%, but through many prayers of loved ones and strangers alike, she was on the road to recovery. Out of nowhere on August 30 of this year, I get a text from my sister saying that they had just rushed B's mom to the hospital following another seizure. At first, they thought it was a side effect of the medicine she was on. They ran tests - the tumor was back. This time, inoperable. According to doctors, there's about a month left.
I've met B's mom once, and felt like I had known her forever. Absolutely one of the most loving, giving, carefree people I've ever met. Genuine. After my sister gave me the news today, I was pretty much left speechless. Completely in shock. My heart sank to my stomach. I don't understand it. Suddenly, the Cooking Club of America and couponing didn't seem important at all. Perspective. I sat in my office - alone - thinking, praying, listening. A song came on the radio - the words seemed so appropriate...
'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights is what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life, are Your mercies in disguise?
