Thursday, January 5, 2012

Learning to Trust.

"Trust me!"

We hear that phrase a lot - on the television, from politicians, even from friends and family.  Sometimes it's in regard to trivial things like trying new foods, "Dude, trust me - you're gonna love it!"  Or perhaps when recommending a movie that we've just watched and loved, "It's the best movie ever!!  Trust me!"  And then sometimes it's a more serious situation when a loved one is asking you to trust them in a huge decision making process, or they could be encouraging you, during a hardship, to trust and believe that everything is going to be okay.  Regardless of the situation, trust is a big deal. 

This past Sunday, our pastor did a sermon all about trust.  The verse he lead his message with was Proverbs 3:5-6.  It's a verse that follows me, and I've found comfort in time after time.  This past Sunday was no different. 

Post-holidays, I had a case of the blues.  I get them every year.  This year has seemingly been worse, and I'm not sure why.  As I sat there in the sanctuary and listened to the pastor's words, I felt encouraged.  I left church that Sunday on a high to embark on the rest of the week.  That high was quickly deflated as the reality of heading back to work and leaving my baby girl alone hit me in the face on Tuesday morning.  I kept hearing that verse in my head though, and was trying to have a good attitude despite my frustration and inner self-pity.  Wednesday would be better - it has to be better.  Wrong.  Wednesday was the worst.  Fighting back tears and feeling ridiculously depressed was how I spent the hours of 8:00 to 4:30.  The afternoon dragged along.  When the whistle finally blew, I was out of there.

The evening turned out to be not so bad.  I got news of something that I had been hoping for - news that I will share with you at a later date.  I had dinner ready when Mr. M got home from work, and Miss G was in a pleasant and playful mood.  It was a sour day gone sweet.  When I finally crawled into bed, the disappointments of the day were still in the back of my mind.  I knew that if I let them, they could very easily send me into another stressful tizzy of worry.   So, I shut them out, and fell asleep.

Six AM, and my alarm sounds.  Ugh!  Another day away from child is all I could think.  I could feel the stress, discouragement, depression welling up inside.  I turned on the Weather Channel - thirty degrees.  What am I gonna wear?  I grabbed my cell phone and headed into the bathroom.  I'm flipping through the one hundred plus messages in my inbox, looking for it.  Ah-ha!   I found it ... my daily Bible verse that I start every morning with.  I couldn't believe it, it was that verse again.   Proverbs 3:5-6.  "Alright, God...I get it.  I get it." 

It's amazing to me how many times in my life, I've so willingly trusted another human being yet I lay in bed at night worrying over things that I just can't give to the Lord.  Why?  I don't know.  But it's definitely my biggest flaw.  Trust is learned.  I've become very aware of that in the last two years as I watch G grow.  She has had to learn to trust me and Mr. M as her parents.  Pediatricians and child-rearing books are adamant about practicing trust-building exercises with young children.  We did many of these with G, and continue to do them.  Some are of the physical and others emotional.  Either way, they build trust and strength amongst the three of us.  When she was learning to walk, she knew we weren't going to let her fall.  And if she stumbled, she knows we'd catch her.  If she falls down, we help her up. 

Every time we get in the car, G takes off her shoes - it's a given.  When we arrive to our destination, we unbuckle her, grab her shoes, and then place G on the roof of the car to put them back on her feet.  We never leave her unattended, or take a hand off of her.  Just the other day, Mr. M sat G on the roof as he put on her shoes.  He stood directly in front of her, his hand on her the entire time.  "Don't fall!  Don't fall!" she repeated as she often does when she gets nervous sitting or standing in a higher-than-normal place.  "You're not gonna fall, I gotcha.  Trust me!" he said. 

Although, I've seen this occurrence take place time and time again, something clicked this time.  How often do we find ourselves on a roof top, no shoes, pleading, "Don't fall!  Don't fall!", only to find that our Father has His hand on us the entire time?  We might panic, we might cry, we might throw a fit.  But if we take time to listen, we'll hear Him say, "You're not gonna fall, I gotcha.  Trust me!" 


Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. 
Proverbs 3:5-6

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