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| My sweet baby G...a day old. |
It's a common phrase. Maybe it's been applied to you personally, or possibly you've used it in reference to a friend or family member's situation. When Faith Hill released her song, A Baby Changes Everything, it really hit home for me.
If you've read the story of me and Mr. M, you know the kind of stuff - racial stuff - we went through while we were dating, and then some. There was tension from outside sources, along with tension in the family unit - extended family. Mr. M proposed to me about a week before Christmas in 2006. I remember that Christmas day...the tension that filled the air when my grandparents arrived for Christmas dinner. They didn't know yet, but I knew they'd find out about our engagement before the day was over. I wore the ring he had given me proudly. They didn't notice. As we were saying our goodbyes that evening, my mom - bless her heart - took it upon herself to be the "bearer of bad news" as she told Nana (my grandmother) I was engaged. Mom then proceeded to call me over and force me into showing Nana my ring. I plopped my hand out and wiggled my fingers to let the diamond catch some sun light. I didn't get an "Oh, it's beautiful!" or a "Do you have a date picked out?" or even a simple, "Congratulations!". Her response? "You've got a long, hard life ahead of you." I retaliated with, "Life is hard for everybody, so why not spend it with someone you love?"
M and I got married in August of 2007, and found out we were pregnant in May of 2009. My mom, once again, broke the news to my grandparents. And instead of excitement or congratulations of some sort, the response again was less than impressive, "Well, I figured it would happen sooner or later." You'd think I'd be used to these kinds of remarks by now, and although I do ignore them, it still stings. I remember how crushed I felt when Mom told me what Nana's response was. I remember fighting back the tears as I told a good friend of mine about what had happened. She, along with Mom, reassured me that although my grandparents had their issues, "a baby changes everything".
G was born in January of 2010. I spent twenty six grueling hours in labor, and at the end, I had a perfectly healthy and absolutely beautiful baby girl. I was completely exhausted, but when that precious little girl was laid on my chest for the first time, I felt as if I could've run a marathon. She was wrapped up in blankets, and peeked at me with those chocolate drop eyes. I melted.
In that moment, everything changed. Everything I thought I knew about life, about myself, about relationships, about love was changed indefinitely. She had changed it all by merely existing. She didn't have to say a word. She just had to be. My world was turned upside down nearly two years ago, and that little brown-eyed girl continues to shake things up every day. My perspective on life has been completely altered. I look at everything differently - the sunshine, puppies, flowers, even water puddles left behind after the rain.
Five years have passed since Mr. M asked for my hand in marriage, and almost two since G took her first breath. Some people have come around - others haven't. But with or without them, a baby really does change everything.
Happy Christmas!
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